As I began teaching my girls, a new fear cropped up. I was afraid that my girls would think I am a boring teacher and sit in annoyance as I ran around like a chicken with my head cut off. I was afraid to be compared to all the professional teachers they have had before me.
Then I gave them this journal prompt:
How do you feel about home school? What are you looking forward to? What are you worried about?
Their responses were a complete surprise to me. They said:
#1 Home school is grate (sic). I’m excited about all the things we are going to do like art. The only thing I am worried about is that I don’t want to be embarrassed in front of my family. I’m hoping it won’t be as hard as public school. I know it is going to be more fun.
#2 I am really excited about home school. I am enjoying home school and I really like that we do P.E. in the morning. I am excited about learning more world history and reading more. I am also excited about doing math. I am a little bit worried about pre-algebra because I don’t think I will be very good at keeping all my math organized. I am also worried about memorizing poems and scriptures because I don’t think I’ll be able to memorize them fast enough.
#3 I think home school will be really fun because I will have a little more freedom to do what I want and I will get to see my family more often. Also I don’t want to deal with stinky kids at school. What am I looking forward to? I am looking forward to art and piano lessons. It is not unlikely that I will find the projects enjoyable also. One thing I am worried about is that I won’t be able to keep up in Spanish, but I guess I haven’t practiced yet and when I do, I will, most likely get better. Today I also started P.E. in the mornings, and I wrote the workout. we swam hard and I was tired, but I felt great after a shower. Tomorrow I’m excited to do yoga too. Hopefully when we do handwriting, mine will improve.
None of the girls were judging me. First I was relieved. Then I realized that they were doing exactly the same thing I was, worrying about not being good enough.
I felt sad that as young as they are, they have already learned (possibly from me) to worry about how they are not good enough.
My new resolution for home school became that we will all be kinder to ourselves and realize that our home is a safe place to make messy mistakes as we learn.